This week’s Popbitch is a doozy!

New music terms for 2003: Tetris Pop. Acts created to fit a specific youth demographic identified by marketing executives. For example: Avril Lavigne.

Gak Attack! Club installs Goffey Shelves. Since Soho House's infamous "dropped E" incident in which Jude Law's toddler ate someone's ecstacy tablet, the club have taken steps to rid themsleves of their druggie reputation. (Our suggestion: get rid of their entire clientele) All the flat surfaces in the toilets have been replaced with slanted shelves to make gak-snorting impossible. The club have christened these new surfaces "Goffey Shelves" - in honour of Danny Goffey, the Supergrass drummer, legendary caner and host of the party where the baby ate the pill.

I’m thoroughly disgusted. T.A.T.U. are YOUNG lesbian popstars. Ick! Sad thing is I bet this will be huge in America.

Oh and check out this Guess The Paedophile game.