I'm experiencing technical difficulties with my server... Meh! I'm too busy being distracted by the AMISH people outside my office! AMISH IN THE HAMMER!

Ian Brown talks about his decision to perform Stone Roses songs at his solo live shows and says that there’s less chance than ever of the band reforming.

Robbie Williams has revealed his obsession with David Beckham – and particularly his hair. Upon meeting the footballer Robbie wasn’t sure whether to "shake his hand or lick his face".

Hey Ray Davies! Just cos you had a stroke doesn't mean you're excused from having a mullet! Feel better! Love Miss Valerie.

The Lonely Life of Howie Beck. Don’t be lonely baby, call me!

Happy Mondays Plan Reunion Dates? Who cares when you’re as distracted as I am by how fuckin’ horrible Shaun Ryder looks these days!

Shaun's ugly mug also made Something Awful's list of their Top Ten Worst Rock Stars. How did Morrissey and Liam Gallagher get in there? :(

Rumour has it Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz are engaged. Props to the Trousersnake for scoring a way hotter fiancee than his ex Britney.

Hey Rachel Stevens, when has the "porno girl" look ever been a good thing? It’s not "kitsch and cool" – its cheap and slutty!

Yo when did Nicole Richie start giving Paris Hilton a run for her money? So hott.

Five things you must abandon immediately"... I agree with everything except the cutesy truncated words. WHATEVS for life motherfucker! OBVS!

This picture of the uniforms for the Vogue Soccer Team is everything you'd expect and more.