Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Take Me Out to Russia with Love

Wanna get our girl Paris something for the wedding? Heres’ the Macy’s link to her bridal registry ‘cause the rich don’t stay rich by buying their own stuff. If you’d like to get Ms. Hilton something she might use, we suggest skipping over all that nonsense that could be used to cook and spending your dollars on either the barware or the bed linens. But still, if this news is correct you might wanna go with the linens ‘cause it may be some time till that barware gets some use.

Speaking of baby news, it appears that
foetus Spederline just might be a girl. That news isn’t stopping us in our campaign to pull for the name Cheeto.

Although they may not be the relevant chart-topping hit makers that they were in the mid-‘90s, the brothers Gallagher sure know how to act like they're big time rock and roll stars. Apparently, the boys were up to
their favourtie old past time of brawling over the weekend. Even so, it appears that the boys have mellowed out. Noel’s traded drugs for trainers and Liam’s actually publicly complementing Damon Albarn on the latest Gorillaz record. But, true to form that was short lived. Just because he was felling a little nostalgic for the old Britpop days, Liam had a battle of wits with Damon Albarn in Camden Town. Now that’s how you do it in the world of rock and roll kiddies.

Well it appears the kiddies have been taking notes and have surpassed the old masters. Lindsay ‘I just don’t understand why the tabloids have a fascination with me’ Lohan nearly got into a
good ol’ fashioned punch-up with the sisters Simpson. Allegedly, Lohan refused them access to her MTV Movie Awards after party. She then had the audacity to track them down to apologise at Jimmy Fallon’s party. Jessica was having none of it and started firing insults and trying to jump Lindsay. A few month’s a ago I would’ve put my money on Lohan beating the tar out Simpson, but her recent weight loss and all that time Simpson’s been spending with the Jackass boys makes me think Jessica’s got the edge.

It appears that that when
Liam Gallagher said “smackheads need slaps,” he was on to something. Despite his recent assertion that Kate and not crack was his rock it’s being reported that Pete Doherty’s back to his old ways. But what’s really surprising is that he’s saying Kate made him a splif out of a tampon tube. Tampon tube…Ew!

As if one album wasn’t enough those generous and prolific boys at
New Order wanna give us a disc of Best Remixes on June 21. Hit up the News section for the track list.

It’s a big day for music releases.
Coldplay’s X&Y hits stores and so does the White Stripe’s Get behind Me Satan. If this and this are any indication it appears Jack and Meg are winning the war for the critics' love, but Chris Martin and co. will dominate sales and radio play. We suggest you forgo both releases in favour of last week’s charmingly funny Art Brut release, Bang, Bang ,Rock and Roll or Montreal’s own ‘60s revivalists Anniemal by Annie. Even if you hate Euro dance pop grab the Annie disc anyway. It's just that damn good.

Laslty, the Russians apparently detained Alex Kapranos ‘cause
they thought he was a former MI6 spy that stole top secret intel on missiles. How cool is that? I herby nominate that Alex become the next James bond. With Kylie in talks to be the next Bond girl I say it’s time for that franchise to go rock and roll.

2 Comments:

Blogger Valerie said...

Jesus f-n christ Im missing tha drams!

What would I ever do without you!

12:27 PM  
Blogger Mike D said...

Don't worry about missing the drams that's what I'm here for. But thanks for the comment love though, I was beginning to think everyone had disappeared.

2:12 PM  

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