Tuesday, June 21, 2005

It finally seems about to start. Here comes summer

Hey kiddies!
Sorry for the lack of a post yesterday (today’s edition is extra big to make up for yesterday’s no show), but we just got into town after a weekend in
this small town masquerading as a city for convocation. I had great time catching up with friends, cooking up some tasty eats, having more than my fair share of libations and most importantly spending quality time with Célina, the sister I’ve always wanted but never got. So Sis, this edition for you.

It’s officially the first day of summer kiddies so if you haven’t done so already, get outside and live that rock and roll lifestyle—there’s no more excuses.

Emilina Torrini was enchanting at El Mo on Friday sharing stories about embarrassing gigs, going insane and hearing a nonexistent man play tuba and turning rappers in hippie songwriters. But most importantly, the Rock Snob herself would be very happy to know the crowd really came alive when Ms. Torinni played our personal theme song, Unemployed in Summer Time. Enjoy her at Glasto, kid.

To an extent we can understand
Elizabeth Hurley’s point that those with fat bulging out of their clothes because it’s too tight or small should probably consider an outfit that’s more flattering next time, but judging from the rest of her comments, Liz’s definition of overweight is entirely out of touch with reality. This woman had the audacity to say “I'd kill myself if I was as fat as Marilyn Monroe.” First of all Elizabeth, Marilyn is an endearing sex symbol ‘cause she was lucky enough to have ideal proportions. Also she is anything but fat. We know plenty of girls who would kill to have her body and plenty of guys who would do the same to be with somebody that has that kind of body. Elizabeth, we'd like to think you were smart enough to refrain from breastfeeding when you were on that post-natal six raisins a day diet, but after the Marilyn comment we aren’t quite sure. That being said if you did breastfeed on that diet we consider it to be akin to child abuse. Oh yeah, Elizabeth there’s just one more thing, we never liked any of your movies, we don’t think your hot and you we’d prefer if the next time you feel like sharing something you’d just button it.

The Britpop bashing of Live 8 is nearly complete. This time
Noel ripped into the event ‘cause the thinks there’s no bloody way the politicians are going to watch these concerts and as a result think that they have to drop the debt. The skeptics in us agree that the concept is a little ridiculous, but it doesn’t mean it ain’t worth a try. But seriously the only Britpop stars that haven’t ripped into this are Justine Frischmann and Jarvis Cocker, so who wants some free publicity?

This Spice Girls at Live 8 thing is long past the point of redonkulous. Apparently
Sir Bob wants them at Live 8 (again) but he wants all of them or the reunion’s a no go. None other than Mel B is holding it up the reunion ‘cause it’d be going back to something that’s in the past. Although we understand the need to grow as an artist, we have zero empathy for Mel ‘cause anything she’s done since leaving the Spice Girls has been neither a commercial or critical success. Come on Mel you, really really, really wanna do it. London’s Calling!

It’s not all bad news for Live 8. It seems that
Elton John is demanding our pal Pete Doherty be put on the roster ‘cause he’s looking for a little collaboration action. Horray for diva demands.

The Guardian has an article on the commercialisation of Glasto. It seems big brands are setting up in the area adjacent to festival and trying to court rock stars. Although it defs goes against the damn-the-man spirit of rock and roll yore, we feel those days are long over. Besides haven't they heard sellouts are the new rebels.

Speaking of Glasto, it begins in three days. It seems Miss Rock Snob herself is
set to enjoy some nice sunshine.

Somebody
buy us one of these shirts. We’re also starting a campaign and asking all y’all to chip in a few ducats so we can buy a shirt for Lindsay and send it with one of those 6-foot long submarine sandwiches.

Say what you will about Tom Cruise, but that man is damn swift and efficient. He only told us he was going to make Posh Spice a star last week and now
she’s already got her first part. In light of this news we’re amending our offer to Tom, we’ll even try the Scientology thing if he can get us a movie role this fast. How bad could half a week of pretending to be interested in Scientology actually be?

The gossip machine is trying to stir up some trouble in the union of two Parises. Apparently the Latsis don’t want Miss Hilton in the family and are getting the lawyers to draft up one of those pesky prenups. They’re also reporting that Mr. Latsis’ family fortune may not have come entirely from shipping, but rather from the ol’ big money business of guns and oil.

Speaking of Miss Hilton,
you can see what may or may not be the inside of her L.A. home.

Finally, there’s a
script for a biopic about Jeff and Tim Buckley floating ‘round Hollywood. All we're saying is it better be good.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Célina said...

MIKE!!! A dedication to moi! Yay! I'm so lucky. I must say that the weekend was a blast. Stomach feeling a bit funny yesterday from all that drinking... but oh well.
So that Elizabeth... sure everyone has their opinions, but sometime private opinions should stay private!
Those T-shirts for Lohan are hilarious!!! Good find.
All right, be seeing you again soon!

12:46 PM  

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