Thursday, June 23, 2005

It's Gonna Take A Whole Lot Of Doin'

We love Lindsay Lohan, but we think this new diet and excercise thing she’s doin' has left the poor thing not quite in touch with reality. While she was doing the whole promotion thing for Fully Loaded, she said she wanted to be a well-respected actress, who was known for her work and not the shenanigans that form her current m.o. Sorry Lindsay we're not buying it, your current filmography doesn’t scream serious actress with range, you’re always posing for the paparazzi and we have a hard time believing you could say no to a night on the town—not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, that’s why we love you. She also explained the recent weight loss on diet, exercise and even puberty. Yes folks LiLo claims to have just hit puberty. Lindsay, honey, when you hit puberty you tend to gain curves and breast, not lose them. But what do we know maybe it's different for movie stars. Lohan's also working hard at giving good advice. When asked to provide some sage words for her little sister, who’s an aspiring starlet, Lohan told her sister to be a shut-in—clearly Lindsay’s a fan of speaking from experience.

Tinkerbell doesn’t like the plebs. Kathy Hilton was promoting her reality show on the Today show and since Paris couldn’t come she brought Tinks. Backstage a producer decided to do that silly baby-talk-and-pet-the-strange-dog-thing and when, the producer reached into the Louis Vitton that Tinks was riding in the dog bit down hard—it had to be shaken off!

NME printed The Strokes tired rock and roll talk about
the new album sounding more “experimental” ‘cause they were able to explore things in their own makeshift studio with their new producer, who introduced them to new sounds. Le yawn. The only real news in the link as far as we're concerned is that we can expect a single in the fall. If you can’t wait till then and want what will surely be a vague, lame and brief track-by-track-description pick-up this week’s NME.

Sir Bob’s banning the Bush bashing during Live 8. Although we vehemently oppose the limiting of freedom of speech, especially when it concerns politics, we understand where he’s coming from. If an artist uses this thing as a venue to bash Bush there’s no doubt that the media reports will focus on that at the expense of the concerts' message.

We love the whole Madchester scene so, when Shaun Ryder of the Happy Mondays speaks we listen. Apparently,
Shaun’s given-up driving for the safety of the children because he only likes driving when he’s drunk. He also claims to drive better while drunk; normally we’d say that’s rubbish, but this is Shaun Ryder we’re talking about. We think this move's mighty noble of Shaun and we also can’t believe someone got through a whole article on Shaun without mention drug use. Shaun also liked Bez’s performance on Big Brother and only watches reality TV when celebs are on, so he can see whether they’re “knobheads in real life,” which is precisely why we all watch reality TV.

Pete’s back doing what he does best, ‘causin’ troubs.
Pete was a no show at a Vogue photoshoot that would have seen him posing with his former Libertines bandmates and Mick Jones. But, alas, Pete got into a fight with his manager and neglected to show up, leaving everyone to do a rockstar rendition of Waiting for Godot. Before I forget here’s the details on the B-sides for the Fuck Forever single.

My, my, my! Rock and roll where has your hell raising reputation gone?
A British politician is calling for more live music ‘cause it should mean less crime when new licensing laws come into effect. Apparently, in the same four-day period there was 1/5th more crime in sleepy Bath than at Glasto. Not only can rock and roll save your soul, but it can keep you safe too.

Ah James Brown, not only do we heart your music for it’s great sound and danceability but, you also
tell it like it is. James, like us and the brilliant Punk is Dead, say that modern so-called “R&B” lacks the soul of its namesake and thus is basically a musical wasteland (WTF is up with the musical abomination that is “crunk’n b”?) Although James blames computers were not entirely convinced. While you’re considering the possibilities, we none to subtlely suggest you sample David Ruffin’s David The Unrelesed Album and read Punk is Dead’s stellar review.


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