There's a dark secret in me…set me free

So Glasto wrapped up yesterday and it by all counts it was a good show. Here's some highlights…

Remember how I told you that mother nature thought it might be funny to see if any of the festival goers were Noah’s distant decendents? Well Mike over at the excellent Take You Medicine’s got the photographic evidence. Nonetheless, the resilient British spirit prevailed and people had a great time despite the less than steallar weather. If you were a headliner the thing to do at Glasto seemed to be covering Kylie’s Can’t Get You Out of My Head. Coldplay did it first in their encore, but not before chocolate junkie Chris Martin went on about how cool it was that the stage was shaped like his drug of choice a Toblerone bar—very lame Chris, very, very lame. Then Basement Jaxx, who replaced Kylie as the closing act on the Pyramid Stage also covered that same tune Kylie tune. Despite reports that it wouldn’t happen Mani joined Ian Brown on stage for his performance. Although it wasn’t a full-blown Stone Roses reunion, it does give us hope. We also love how Ian told the kiddies to start dancing ‘cause damn it that’s what you’re supposed to do at that kind of concert. We are sick of all the cooler-than-thou indie kids standing right in front of the stage with their arms crossed looking most unimpressed. If you wanna do that kindly step behind the kids who are trying to enjoy themselves. Speaking of fun music to dance to, Hooky and co. also put on a great set. Lastly, apparently our boys from Leeds, The Kaisers, had a great set too. The highlights were Ricky crowd surfing and dancing with an inflatable dinosaur.

Back to Kylie news, we’re most happy to report that the doctors are telling her all is well with her health after the breast cancer operation. She’s now off to her boyfriend's house in France for some much needed R&R and some serious pamperin’. If that wasn't enough karama stuck it to drummer Shaun of the Zutons 'cause Michael Eavis asked Kylie to play next year’s Glasto.

Now on to Pete news… Petey appears to have ‘married’ girlfriend Kate Moss at a Glasto. The marriage was totally non-legit and as a result lasted for a day. This must be the thing all the cool kids do at Glasto ‘cause the Rock Snob herself was telling me about a similarly non-valid mass-marriage she was going to participate in there. Hmm…maybe Pete was at her ‘wedding’? In other Pete news…there allegedly may be problems with the Babyshambles as Pete’s asked organisers of the upcoming O2 wireless festival to change the name he's performing under to Pete Doherty and Friends. Is it too much to ask that a Pete have a musical project that doesn’t involve some drams? At least his love life appears to going quite well…a little kinky, but quite well.

If you hate Lindsay’s blond locks as much as we do, you may finally direct your anger to a single source in a nice scapegoat like fashion. Throw your displeasure Meryl Streep’s way. At least Lohan's promised she’ll be back to the red hair soon; now only if we could get her to get back to her old figure? Speaking of which, we're still waiting on donations for that six-foot sub and T-shirt thing. Where's the love people?

It really is inexplicable, but we have a weakness for Kelly Clarkson singles. We also like her approach to dating—the woman’s got exacting standards and won’t waste her time on anything less. We suggest you do the same, but don't forget the occasional fling with the randoms every ain't a bad thing—'sides it's so rock and roll.

Although we full heartedly endorse the rock and roll lifestyle,this is why drugs are bad, kiddies.

Liam Gallagher told Chart he now wishes he was playing London’s Live 8. But he hasn’t had a change his mind since last week’s slaging of the event. He just wishes he could take part so he could come on stage after a great performance and stick it to Robbie Williams.

And because one Gallagher brother can’t do or say something stupid without the other following shortly behind, here’s a story from last week’s Popbitch that we forgot to give you….

Liam believes in Spinal Tap
“Noel Gallagher was interviewed by David Walliams in the Observer last weekend, and told a classic story. Liam, apparently, was a huge fan of Spinal Tap. But he thought they were a real band. He was horrified to discover the same actors performing as A Mighty Wind at Carnegie Hall a few years back and, when Noel told him the bad news, shouted "I'm not 'avin' that", and stormed off. And has never watched the film again.”