I lied. No updates until September 5th. We have no internet and I will certainly die as a result... Rest assured I will rise again like the mighty pheonix from the ashes.

Recapture the magic of two women kissing for the sole purpose of generating some interest in their failing careers.

I was in the hospital but I'm out and feeling better now. Here’s a much needed update!

Julian on The Strokes new album “Room On Fire”.

Lots of new releases from Ryan Adams in the next few months. Should be erm, um, interesting!

Dear London, We feel your pain! Love Southern Ontario

New Black Rebel Motorcycle Club website. Lots of black naturally.

Sex Pistols are the true definition of punk. Bless em.

Some observations made while perusing the The Complete 2003 Long List of Nominations for the Shortlist Music Prize.
1. Is it just me or does Perry Farrell voting for The Music seem like he’s giving himself and his own band a pat on the back!?!
2. Mos Def giving The Libertines respect just warms my heart.
3. Pete Yorn voting for Tegan and Sara! What the fuck is that shit!?! Ah well, he redeemed himself by giving props to Soundtrack of our Lives, Longwave, and Jesse Malin.
Overall the whole bloody list is incredibly impressive and is basically a run-down of the best 50 albums of the past few months – As if you didn’t own most of them already (and I say “most” because I can understand someone not wanting to listen to shit like Tegan and Sara). Werd.

Oh Vincent!

Woohoo! BRMC cover The Stripes!

The Coopers wanted a Christmas theme for their Reading gig tonight.
Perhaps the best example of NME investigatory journalism in this article is the uncovering of Didz’s secret fear of elves: "We don't like elves. They fucking scare me and I don't want them anywhere near my set-up. People think elves are so cool it fucks me right off." Solid gold.

I told you I’d be back!

Haven guitarist soldiers on. Makes other musicians look like pussies.

Hear the new Jet album ‘Get Born’.

Good ol’ Miss Modern Age has a link for you to listen to new Strokes tracks!

For James: Interview with Mark Gardener.

Americans just love to hate Canadians. The Onion understands.

This is an oldie but a goodie: The Sex Machine.

Why the fuck would the Manic Street Preachers sell-out to American Eagle!?!

Alright I’m back and I still love you. Thank you to all those who e-mailed and said they missed me! Now that I’ve made my triumphant return to unemployment (my contract expired yesterday) I expect to have lots more time on my hands and no more excuses not to update!
I offer you a blend of old and new news and gossip below to catch everybody up before we start fresh again!

Albert Hammond Jr has told the NME that The Strokes comeback single will be “12:51” (known already to some by its working title, “Supernova”). The single will be released October 6 followed by the album two weeks later (October 20, for those of you who can’t add and/or just don’t like to think).

Now you too can drink Pimp Juice!!!

Tim Burgess launched his solo career at V Festival last weekend.

Pete Doherty’s new band is going under the name “Babyshambles”.

Elton John = still cool… “There are a lot of great rock‘n’roll records out these days, thank God. Kings Of Leon, The Darkness, the new Black Rebel Motorcycle Club record… I don’t think there’s been a more exciting time. It started with the White Stripes record this year and it seems to have taken off from there, and hopefully all these miserable fuckers like Staind and Creed will go out of the window."

The Strokes are the cover story on the new issue of MOJO! (Miss Modern Age has few amusing concerns!)
In the article: “Julian Casablancas arrives back at his apartment building at 9am. In the lobby is his neighbour, Ryan Adams, guitar in hand, trying out a batch of new songs. He asks Casablancas how the album is going, but elects to sing the questions, turning each and every one into yet another new Ryan Adams song until Casablancas has to shout, "Will you just put that fucking guitar down." Even the hardest working boy in New York has to turn off at some point.” Read more at YHNR.

Sondre Lerche on Chartattack.

Kate Moss is a sexy stripper in the new White Stripes vid for “I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself”. Check out how well she works that pole!

New issue of Let Them Eat Lead!

Marlon Brando is Courtney Love’s granddaddy.
FIN!

We have power again! I don't know how I ever lived without it!

What Pete Libertine has been up to in the past few weeks in his own words… “I have gone to Kilburn, land of Dohertys a plenty. I have had a baby. I got a arrested, locked up, put in rehab, escaped, wrote a few songs, went to Liverpool for a while, arrested, fucked a Japanese boy…” And as for the whole baby thing… The mother is Lisa Moorish (famous for having Liam Gallagher's love child right after he got married to Patsy Kensit). Pete claims 'I woke up and she was on top of me' and nine months later (just over 4 weeks ago) she gave birth.

The Stills on Chartattack.

The Vines new album will be a "party metal record" according to Patrick. I just have one question: Why?

Listen to the new BRMC album ‘Take Them On, On Your Own”. It's brilliant!

The Libertines are one of the best live bands I’ve ever seen (with or without Pete)!

Pete Libertine admits his smack/crack addiction and a £300,000 debt. Good luck with that.

Hahaha! Remember when Pete got caught breaking and entering someone's London flat? It was Carl's! I told you the kid was having trouble letting go! Poor thing! I'm seeing the rest of the remaining Libbies tomorrow night... Hurrah!

Ryan “Happy” Adams will release album #4 in November titled “Rock N Roll”. Clever.

Everybody wants to join a MOB. Including me.

My girl Lauren Laverne (a shameless fan of The Darkness!) has been hosting the Breakfast Show on BBC Radio 6 this week! The tunes she’s been spinning are mint! Check it out!

Take a peak INSIDE of Mr. Jack White. (And if that bores you than watch the video to see him looking woozy and not wearing a shirt!)

Nick Jago may be very pretty but that is not excuse for him to be such a DUMBASS!

Travis are back too. New single “Re-Offender” is out September 29th with their 4th album ’12 Memories’ expected for release in October. We’re happy they’re back… They’re such nice boys… Not like those naughty Vines…

Speaking of the devil… Craig’s BAAAACK!!!. Duck and cover.

The Strokes will return this Fall with a new album! Yay! In the meantime check out Vitamin C’s fab version of “Last Night” (mixed with Blondie’s “Heart of Glass”)… It’s mighty catchy. Like SARS!

Pete Libertine is having trouble accepting his fate… Being kicked out of your own band has gotta be hard to swallow…Please please please kiss and make up with Carl (preferably onstage at the Aug. 12th show in TO)!

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but…
IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM PHANTOM PLANET:

Dear Friends,

I'm writing to say that I've officially left Phantom Planet. I love the guys more than anything and I've had some of the most amazing memories with them, but it's just not right for me to be in the band anymore. It's time for me to pursue other things. I want to thank each and every one of you for your love, support, and devotion through the years. You've made so much possible and it's meant a lot to me. See you soon, hopefully at the next Phantom Planet show.

Love,

Jason Schwartzman

So this is not music-related but it’s just funny because it’s true! The Onion’s STATshot…
Least Favorite U.S. Highways? Interstate to Grandma’s!

Ongoing History Of New Music tonight: “How To Talk Like A Rock Snob”!

Everything is sooo boring that I’m almost ready to start making shit up. Someone send me some gossip… Or else!

TORONTO ROCKS kicked my ass. Full report soon!