Thursday, June 30, 2005

the comedown

I'm gonna be quite honest and say while in some ways it's nice to be back, I really wish I didn't have to come home at all... I'm having a really hard time putting it all behind me so today's post just the bare bones...

  • The release of Babyshambles amazing new single "(Fuck) Forever" has been delayed because of "artwork issues". What's the problem? Can't decide whether or not to include the word "fuck"?
  • Bright Eyes is a fucking prick. At least he and Bobby both apologized for their comments at Glasto.
  • Kylie was touched by all the Glastonbury tributes.
  • I for one think its fucking adorable that Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley (Sum 41) are getting married.
  • Coldplay are planning a duet with Richard Ashcroft at Live 8. Sweet.
  • Erin rules for finding this website. It actually made me smile... because i'm a sick fucker like that.
  • Everyone stay safe this long weekend and I'll try to make updates and fill you in on my holiday and Glastonbury!

    Wednesday, June 29, 2005

    The Last Post On The Bugle

    So with everyone’s favourite lady back it looks like my run at Rock Snob has come to an end. I’m saddened to be leaving behind this glamorous gig, but it’ll be nice to go back to just posting comments. Even with an RSS reader chock-full-o’-feeds it ain’t easy to provide the quality news and witty commentary that all y’all expect from Rock Snob. Now I’ve always appreciated what the good lady’s done, but after trying to fill her stilettos for four weeks, I have a whole other level of appreciation for what she does here.

    But before I step aside and let the true master take her rightful place at the top I’d like to say thanks to all the readers, especially those who left some comment love or emailed me. It was greatly appreciated. I’d also love it if you’d occasionally stop by and visit me at my lowly blog home Diary of a Finger Popper. It won’t be your one-stop rock and celebrity gossip blog like this place, but I do promise to do my damnedest to entertain all y’all.

    Now on with my last hurrah at Rock Snob…

    You may or may not have picked up on our hints, but we’re foodies and Food Network Canada junkies. So naturally we’ve been following Jamie’s School Dinners, in which celeb-chef Jamie Oliver tries to improve the abysmal state of school meals in England. Tonight at 9 p.m. EST is the concluding episode to the series and we suggest that you check it out if you’ve got the means.

    Kylie thanks Coldplay and Basement Jaxx for the cover love at Glasto ‘cause she’s classy like that—omething Shaun of the Zutons would know nothing about.

    Singer Bobby Gillespie of Primal Scream is doing his best to deny that his comments to the crowd at Glasto were a slight to Kylie. Damn right you are Bobby you wouldn’t want to join Shaun on our shit list now would you?

    Sir Bob’s cut himself from the Live 8 roster ‘cause he’s not popular enough. He can console himself with the thought that he isn’t being a hypocrite.

    Like any good gossip columnists those cheeky 3 a.m. girls are trying to stir things up between Pete Doherty and Kate Moss. First, they justifiably slag Kate for wearing the same pants she wore all weekend at Glasto to pick up some cigarettes and gum at the corner store on Monday. But those girls really earn their paycheques when they try to stir up troubs between our favourite couple by rehashing Pete’s gay prostitute past ‘cause he’s been interviewed in a gay magazine this month.

    Our friends at Chart have a good profile on Ian Brown with an interesting little tea anecdote that starts and closing the article just like we learned in J-school.

    Lastly, NME’s pulling the same stunt with the Archdukes that they did with the Strokes. If you want to know more information about the album than a lame discription of the CD cover, then you’ll have to buy the magazine. The online article's not a total loss, it lists possible tracks including potential lead singles ‘Turn It On’ and ‘Do You Want To?’, which the band describes as “knockout punches.”

    See all y'all at the beach,

    How I missed this in the morning update I’ll never know. Better later than never I guess.

    Since our boys from Leeds serious rocked out at Glasto they’re re-releasing ‘I Predict a Riot’ in hopes that it charts higher. Although that’s news pretty much deserves a “meh” at best, the single’s a double A-side with a new tune called ‘Sink That Ship’. Ricky’s claiming this tune is so rock and roll that they can’t play it more than once in a set—drummer Nick collapsed all over his kit the last time they practiced the tune. Now that’s hot.

    Speaking of things that are hot… you can now buy the famous swimsuit, so you can reenact Paris’ famous burger ad.

    Tuesday, June 28, 2005

    back from the dead

    I'm home...
    I am also married, tattooed, muddied to the core, and happier than ever (or was).
    Glastonbury is Heaven on Earth (even if it did resemble Hell at points).
    I will give you a proper update in the next few days.

    Hello sunshine come into my life

    Yesterday the U.S. Supreme court made a very poor decision on peer-to-peer networks. I can’t understand how they’d allow the network operators to be held liable for copyright infringement that its users commit? If people commit fraudulent activities over the phone the telcos. aren’t liable for any shady activities that their customers might commit. In both cases the telcos and the network operators just provide the technology; what users do with it is up to them. Now I’m not saying anyone who creates a product/technology should be immune from liability for consequences of using its product, but in this case the court already had an existing precedent for similar situation and it completely ignored it.

    Michael Eavis shares his thoughts on this year’s Glasto. Crime (excluding drug busts) was down. But the big news is he’s saying Bloc Party, the Kaisers and Razorlight will possibly headline in the near future (possibly even next year).

    Chart has an interview with Four Tet on his new sound and it starts with a wicked anecdote about how his sound checks take less than a minute. Soundmen of the world rejoice and if you’re gonna take a sick day we suggest you don’t do it during Kieran Hebden’s show.

    Passing out during spinning class sounds something every girl who’s following a routine healthy diet and exercise would do. Sarcasm aside we’re worried Lindsay, so much so that we’ll glad fix you up a big honking dinner. Yes we can cook, just ask our surrogate sister Célina for a reference.

    Harry Shearer, who played
    Derek Smalls in This is Spinal Tap, was floored at the recent news that Liam Gallagher thought they were a real band. Frankly, so were we. Now we know the brothers Gallagher aren’t going to get an invite into MENSA anytime soon but, this story may be the dumbest thing we’ve heard their names associated with. Bless our boys for being entertaining, stupid, but entertaining.

    Head on over to
    You Ain’t No Picasso ‘cause Matt’s got a live cut off the upcoming Super Furry Animals album, accompanied with information on the upcoming disc.

    This is long overdue. A one Ms. Monika
    Bullette, took the time to ask if we could review her album the Secrets. Although we normally don’t do much in the way of that, we couldn’t refuse her request after she asked us so sweetly—‘sides she a Holly Golightly fan. Overall we’re really liking the record. The songs tend to be about the singular theme longing for and losing love. As far as a singular theme that’s a pretty good choice ‘cause there’s enough relatable subject matter to avoid the case of the dreaded sameness. But what makes the Secrets so refreshing is that there’s a great variety musically to augment the usual gentle guitar strumming and soft vocal delivery that you might expect. Now things don’t fly all over the place like a Fiery Furnaces record, but there’s still a good breadth of instrumentation and enough hook changes to keep things interesting. Little Bird makes good use of the underrated technique of whistling, Lemonade sees her deliver some raw vocals in the role of seductress, and it also makes good use of the sax. But, we like Bullette best when she’s rockin’ out like on the album opener Show Me. As far more competent people than us have pointed out if there’s one major criticism, it’s that many of songs (see Uneasy) seem a little drawn out. But, still, there’s no doubt Bullette’s a true unsigned talent that record reps should be fighting to woo. Until then we suggest do the save as thing and grab Show Me ‘cause we have a feeling we still be rockin’ that tune and her album come years end.

    We heart Franz Ferdinand not only ‘cause of their dance floor stormers, but because our lads from Glasgow are good bunch of romantic boys.
    Apparently Sir Bob came a calling to try and convince drummer Nick McCarthy to move his wedding date so the band could play Live 8. Sir Bob even had the audacity to try and talk to Nick’s fiancée. The manager and the rest of the band shielded Bob from what was sure to be a right tongue lashing and politely declined his request ‘cause they’re classy like that.

    This gossipy tidbit is as unreliable as they come. But if there’s a skosh bit of truth in it, you’ll find us crying in our pillows, creating voodoo dolls in Zach Braff’s likeness and watching old episodes of the O.C. denying there’s any trouble with our dear Sethummer. Hey! Wait a minute, scratch the above sentence. If the gossip is true that means we’ve got a shot with Rachel Bilson! Sorry, kids but we gotta go now and put into action our plan to charm Ms. Summer Roberts herself.

    Monday, June 27, 2005

    There's a dark secret in me…set me free

    So Glasto wrapped up yesterday and it by all counts it was a good show. Here's some highlights…

    Remember how I told you that mother nature thought it might be funny to see if any of the festival goers were Noah’s distant decendents? Well
    Mike over at the excellent Take You Medicine’s got the photographic evidence. Nonetheless, the resilient British spirit prevailed and people had a great time despite the less than steallar weather. If you were a headliner the thing to do at Glasto seemed to be covering Kylie’s Can’t Get You Out of My Head. Coldplay did it first in their encore, but not before chocolate junkie Chris Martin went on about how cool it was that the stage was shaped like his drug of choice a Toblerone bar—very lame Chris, very, very lame. Then Basement Jaxx, who replaced Kylie as the closing act on the Pyramid Stage also covered that same tune Kylie tune. Despite reports that it wouldn’t happen Mani joined Ian Brown on stage for his performance. Although it wasn’t a full-blown Stone Roses reunion, it does give us hope. We also love how Ian told the kiddies to start dancing ‘cause damn it that’s what you’re supposed to do at that kind of concert. We are sick of all the cooler-than-thou indie kids standing right in front of the stage with their arms crossed looking most unimpressed. If you wanna do that kindly step behind the kids who are trying to enjoy themselves. Speaking of fun music to dance to, Hooky and co. also put on a great set. Lastly, apparently our boys from Leeds, The Kaisers, had a great set too. The highlights were Ricky crowd surfing and dancing with an inflatable dinosaur.

    Back to Kylie news, we’re most happy to report that the doctors are telling her all is well with her health after the breast cancer operation.
    She’s now off to her boyfriend's house in France for some much needed R&R and some serious pamperin’. If that wasn't enough karama stuck it to drummer Shaun of the Zutons 'cause Michael Eavis asked Kylie to play next year’s Glasto.

    Now on to Pete news…
    Petey appears to have ‘married’ girlfriend Kate Moss at a Glasto. The marriage was totally non-legit and as a result lasted for a day. This must be the thing all the cool kids do at Glasto ‘cause the Rock Snob herself was telling me about a similarly non-valid mass-marriage she was going to participate in there. Hmm…maybe Pete was at her ‘wedding’? In other Pete news…there allegedly may be problems with the Babyshambles as Pete’s asked organisers of the upcoming O2 wireless festival to change the name he's performing under to Pete Doherty and Friends. Is it too much to ask that a Pete have a musical project that doesn’t involve some drams? At least his love life appears to going quite well…a little kinky, but quite well.

    If you hate Lindsay’s blond locks as much as we do, you may finally
    direct your anger to a single source in a nice scapegoat like fashion. Throw your displeasure Meryl Streep’s way. At least Lohan's promised she’ll be back to the red hair soon; now only if we could get her to get back to her old figure? Speaking of which, we're still waiting on donations for that six-foot sub and T-shirt thing. Where's the love people?

    It really is inexplicable, but we have a weakness for Kelly Clarkson singles. We also like
    her approach to dating—the woman’s got exacting standards and won’t waste her time on anything less. We suggest you do the same, but don't forget the occasional fling with the randoms every ain't a bad thing—'sides it's so rock and roll.

    Although we full heartedly endorse the rock and roll lifestyle,
    this is why drugs are bad, kiddies.

    Liam Gallagher told Chart he now wishes he was playing London’s Live 8. But he hasn’t had a change his mind since last week’s slaging of the event. He just wishes he could take part so he could come on stage after a great performance and stick it to Robbie Williams.

    And because one Gallagher brother can’t do or say something stupid without the other following shortly behind, here’s a story from last week’s
    Popbitch that we forgot to give you….

    Liam believes in Spinal Tap
    “Noel Gallagher was interviewed by David Walliams in the Observer last weekend, and told a classic story. Liam, apparently, was a huge fan of Spinal Tap. But he thought they were a real band. He was horrified to discover the same actors performing as A Mighty Wind at Carnegie Hall a few years back and, when Noel told him the bad news, shouted "I'm not 'avin' that", and stormed off. And has never watched the film again.”

    Friday, June 24, 2005

    Butterflies & Hurricanes

    Apparently Lindsay's being removed from the Fully Loaded posters ‘cause the new post-puberty-diet-and-exercise Lohan bears no resemblance to the film’s hot buxom redhead. Naturally, she none too pleased, especially ‘cause she wasn’t told about it. We suggest she stops fretting and gets down to celebrating those multiple birthdays so we’ve got some shenanigans to write about on Monday.

    Ricky Gervais of The Office fame has
    some teaser trailers from his new series Extras, we suggest you check out what the funny man’s been up to.

    Apparently, when the apocalypse comes we can’t count on those
    vegans and veggies to repopulate the earth.

    Speaking of the end of the earth…my gosh, I think we all need to band together and pray for our Dharling Rock Snob. First,
    Ryan Adams cancels their date on her and now it’s gone old-testament-style-biblical on our poor girl. That’s right a river bursting and a torrent of rain have caused some bands, including new it band the Subways, sets to be rescheduled and in some cases canceled. But rest assured Michael Evais, the festival’s organizer assures the NME that everything will be alright. Speaking of the NME, we’re holding them personally responsible for this mess. After assuring us the festival weather would be beautiful they took it back and said it might be a little rainy—well it’s more than a skosh bit wet when people's backpacks are drifting away. Our advice is to the NME is that they should get back to doing what they do best, hyping bands before they actually accomplish anything.

    Now, for some happy news amongst all this gloom. Perez Hilton brought smiles to our faces when he reported that
    Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton may soon be friends again ‘cause there’s pressure to get them back together for a Simple Life 4. It’s too early to ask for Lohan to join, isn’t it?

    Renee we love you more and more everyday.
    A more curvaceous figure and a “raunchy photo shoot” —that Kenney Chesney’s a lucky man.

    It must be a some sort of Kabbalist tradition or something ‘cause Britney wants to pull a Demi Moore and do
    the nude pregnant cover shot for Life & Style. The only hitch is that Brit’s gotta stay in shape. If you’ve seen all those photos of her walking around double-fisting those Venti Frappuccinos you gotta wonder if she’ll be anywhere close to Demi shape when the photo’s gets taken.

    Punk is Dead was kind enough to provide us with a link to a trailer of Cameron Crowe’s Elizabethtown. Even if you aren’t a fan you have to admit that man really knows how to use a soundtrack, unlike Zach Braff in that glorified mix tape fest everyone was fawning over last year. That’s right we didn’t like Garden State.

    We’re all for protesting so you can correct the slights, stupidity and injustices of the world, but man alive sometimes you gotta shake your head at what people are using their energy for. Is it really worth
    possibly losing your job to get Tom Connors on the bill for Live 8?

    This is a little out of the ordinary for us, but loyal reader Melissa alerted us to a troubling story about Zach. He came out to his parents and they subsequently sent him to this fundamentalist Christian ‘camp’ that 'treats' “addictive behaviors, such as promiscuity, alcohol & drug addiction and homosexuality.” Naturally he’s having the worst time of his life. We’re generally pretty secular and don’t get into religious debates or judgment ‘cause there’s a heck of a lot of arguments, violence and killing that gets done in the name of religion. Setting aside out personal beliefs that there’s nothing wrong with homosexuality, we can’t condone forcing somebody to undergo a “treatment” for something that studies have shown is genetic. Although some think that’s contentious, it's hard to argue that forcing somebody to undergo a treatment comes darn close to violating basic human rights (I said close because minors don’t have full rights). Anyway, if you’d like to read more or help out all the relevant links and info are

    Now for my local kids…here’s what’s happenin’.

    Toronto’s Pride Week finishes this weekend so you know the area surrounding Church St. will be a nonstop party, especially on Sunday’s parade.

    Final Fantasy plays the Music Gallery on Sat.

    It’s supposed to be a hot one so we suggest you cool off with the indie rock music of the beer world—microbrewed beer. You can sample some of
    Ontario’s best in the Distillery District on Sat. and Sun.

    On Sunday there’s a big show on Olympic Island with the likes of Broken Social Scene, Metric, and most importantly the excellent
    Keren Ann. Yes, we’re well aware we left Modest Mouse off that list, but we’re just so damn sick of tha Float On song unless it’s the Kidz Bop Kids’ version; we’re still all over that! Yes, their old stuff is darn good but still.

    As always enjoy the weekend kiddies and happy pride!

    Thursday, June 23, 2005

    It's Gonna Take A Whole Lot Of Doin'

    We love Lindsay Lohan, but we think this new diet and excercise thing she’s doin' has left the poor thing not quite in touch with reality. While she was doing the whole promotion thing for Fully Loaded, she said she wanted to be a well-respected actress, who was known for her work and not the shenanigans that form her current m.o. Sorry Lindsay we're not buying it, your current filmography doesn’t scream serious actress with range, you’re always posing for the paparazzi and we have a hard time believing you could say no to a night on the town—not that there’s anything wrong with that. In fact, that’s why we love you. She also explained the recent weight loss on diet, exercise and even puberty. Yes folks LiLo claims to have just hit puberty. Lindsay, honey, when you hit puberty you tend to gain curves and breast, not lose them. But what do we know maybe it's different for movie stars. Lohan's also working hard at giving good advice. When asked to provide some sage words for her little sister, who’s an aspiring starlet, Lohan told her sister to be a shut-in—clearly Lindsay’s a fan of speaking from experience.

    Tinkerbell doesn’t like the plebs. Kathy Hilton was promoting her reality show on the Today show and since Paris couldn’t come she brought Tinks. Backstage a producer decided to do that silly baby-talk-and-pet-the-strange-dog-thing and when, the producer reached into the Louis Vitton that Tinks was riding in the dog bit down hard—it had to be shaken off!

    NME printed The Strokes tired rock and roll talk about
    the new album sounding more “experimental” ‘cause they were able to explore things in their own makeshift studio with their new producer, who introduced them to new sounds. Le yawn. The only real news in the link as far as we're concerned is that we can expect a single in the fall. If you can’t wait till then and want what will surely be a vague, lame and brief track-by-track-description pick-up this week’s NME.

    Sir Bob’s banning the Bush bashing during Live 8. Although we vehemently oppose the limiting of freedom of speech, especially when it concerns politics, we understand where he’s coming from. If an artist uses this thing as a venue to bash Bush there’s no doubt that the media reports will focus on that at the expense of the concerts' message.

    We love the whole Madchester scene so, when Shaun Ryder of the Happy Mondays speaks we listen. Apparently,
    Shaun’s given-up driving for the safety of the children because he only likes driving when he’s drunk. He also claims to drive better while drunk; normally we’d say that’s rubbish, but this is Shaun Ryder we’re talking about. We think this move's mighty noble of Shaun and we also can’t believe someone got through a whole article on Shaun without mention drug use. Shaun also liked Bez’s performance on Big Brother and only watches reality TV when celebs are on, so he can see whether they’re “knobheads in real life,” which is precisely why we all watch reality TV.

    Pete’s back doing what he does best, ‘causin’ troubs.
    Pete was a no show at a Vogue photoshoot that would have seen him posing with his former Libertines bandmates and Mick Jones. But, alas, Pete got into a fight with his manager and neglected to show up, leaving everyone to do a rockstar rendition of Waiting for Godot. Before I forget here’s the details on the B-sides for the Fuck Forever single.

    My, my, my! Rock and roll where has your hell raising reputation gone?
    A British politician is calling for more live music ‘cause it should mean less crime when new licensing laws come into effect. Apparently, in the same four-day period there was 1/5th more crime in sleepy Bath than at Glasto. Not only can rock and roll save your soul, but it can keep you safe too.

    Ah James Brown, not only do we heart your music for it’s great sound and danceability but, you also
    tell it like it is. James, like us and the brilliant Punk is Dead, say that modern so-called “R&B” lacks the soul of its namesake and thus is basically a musical wasteland (WTF is up with the musical abomination that is “crunk’n b”?) Although James blames computers were not entirely convinced. While you’re considering the possibilities, we none to subtlely suggest you sample David Ruffin’s David The Unrelesed Album and read Punk is Dead’s stellar review.

    Wednesday, June 22, 2005

    Hey LiLo!

    All our local mp3 bloggers should start pondering a plan of action for the coming year ‘cause the Liberals have introduced an amendment to the close the loophole in Copyright Act that allowed for file sharing. But don’t fret too much kids, it’ll be later this year or next before it comes close to becoming law.

    Speaking of mp3s, head on over to Rock Snob’s good friend
    Modern Laundry, where he has a great Shout Out Louds’ remix by Ratatat. While you're there check out the rest of his excellent blog and leave him some comment love 'cause us bloggers love that.

    Even when Pete Doherty not around he still manages to ‘cause some major troubs!
    Apparently, fashion designer Sadie Frost told Kate Moss she couldn’t bring Pete to her 40th birthday ‘cause she didn’t want any of his drugged out shenanigans to ruin her party. Like a good friend and girlfriend Kate showed up but generally sulked in the corner, until she found out Sadie invited her ‘enemy” (and mother to Pete’s bastard child) Lisa Moorish. There were no Lohan-Simpson-esque antics, but naturally Kate was livid.

    If you’re like us, you're rather unsurprised by the uninspiring safe choices that made
    the Live 8 Canada roster. Still, the good people at Chart are giving us a slight bit of hope that this thing isn’t a total waste, musically speaking, ‘cause only 19 of the 21 acts have been announced. None of acts they mentioned as possible choices for teh other two spots interest us, except for the lovely Miss Leslie Feist. If the organiser know what their doing, they will surely give Feist a spot ‘cause of all the acts on that list she’s got some credibility and the widest possible appeal.

    Speaking of Live 8 Canada, if it wasn’t bad enough that the event is essentially bankrupt of interesting musical acts, it might not even be a success in getting the Canadian Government to make a serious commitment to ending poverty in Africa. It seems
    Paul Martin isn't prepared to make any promises when it comes to aid for Africa, even after Geldof tried to shame him into doing so at the roster announcement via video. I’ve herd some people complain that Geldolf had some audacity to do that. But given our government’s initial commitment to the Asian Tsunami relief effort last year, we think that kind of behaviour is the only thing that seems to get any action from our public officials. Plus we're ashamed at the whole non-comittal stance by Martin. Yes we agree you shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep and yes, Martin is leading a fragile minority government, but damn it great leaders step-up and act when there’s a need.

    This is my last Live 8 related post today (I promise). Does anybody know what
    Ticketmaster Canada is doing with the “convenience charge” and “order processing fee” that they will surely be charging for these Live 8 tickets? We haven’t heard anything, but if they don’t want a PR nightmare, I suggest that 100 per cent of that fee goes to a charity that aims to end poverty in Africa.

    God damn it NME! You had us telling people the weather at Glasto is set to be beautiful and
    now you’re telling us that’s not the case. NME, I don’t care how notoriously fickle British weather is, you aren’t getting any more space here for your slow news day stories. Glasto goers we suggest you hit up a local weather report from a real news before heading out.

    We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again, Manchester might very well be the coolest rock and roll city in the world. Xfm talked to Mr. Damon Albarn and ‘cause so many guest musicians are needed to put on a proper Gorillaz's show, he’s planning
    six gigs in the city for a fall tour. If you are anywhere near there in Novemeber you best be attending at least one of the shows.

    We take back our comment about the public spat between Blur members being less embarrassing than the antics of the brothers Gallagher. Apparently
    the band members feel like making some barristers rich because they’re suing each other. Still it isn’t all bad news, Alex James seems pretty adamant this doesn’t mean the end of the band.

    If you can bear their usual snarkastic and cooler-than-thou writing,
    Pitchfork has a pretty cool interview with the fabulous Annie, whose album hit our local stores yesterday. In honour of that, Chris at Gorilla vs. Bear gets some link love ‘cause he’s got my favourite Annie track Me Plus One. Now only if that Rapture remix could show up on an Mp3 blog (hint, hint).

    We don’t much care for her English language stuff (her Spanish stuff on the other hand is pretty good), but man alive do we heart Shakira right now and we think you should too.
    The bodacious Colombian said she empathises with the male species' inability understand women and please them because women can never be satisfied. We don’t quite understand what all the button talk was about and for the most part we haven’t encountered too many women who are a riddle wrapped in an enigma, but we’re smart enough to know that every man in the world should be blessing her hip-gyrating-little-heart right now.

    Finally, ‘cause we know you, like us, can’t get enough Lohan news here's the daily round-up. Apparently, Lindsay threw
    a hissy fit at the Fully Loaded premier when she found out her song was playing on the closing credit instead of during the first race scene where she expected it. She also has a new boyfriend and in case you forgot the voluptuous breasts of Lohan’s pre-diet figure were distracting. We miss those breasts. Le sigh.

    Tuesday, June 21, 2005

    It finally seems about to start. Here comes summer

    Hey kiddies!
    Sorry for the lack of a post yesterday (today’s edition is extra big to make up for yesterday’s no show), but we just got into town after a weekend in
    this small town masquerading as a city for convocation. I had great time catching up with friends, cooking up some tasty eats, having more than my fair share of libations and most importantly spending quality time with Célina, the sister I’ve always wanted but never got. So Sis, this edition for you.

    It’s officially the first day of summer kiddies so if you haven’t done so already, get outside and live that rock and roll lifestyle—there’s no more excuses.

    Emilina Torrini was enchanting at El Mo on Friday sharing stories about embarrassing gigs, going insane and hearing a nonexistent man play tuba and turning rappers in hippie songwriters. But most importantly, the Rock Snob herself would be very happy to know the crowd really came alive when Ms. Torinni played our personal theme song, Unemployed in Summer Time. Enjoy her at Glasto, kid.

    To an extent we can understand
    Elizabeth Hurley’s point that those with fat bulging out of their clothes because it’s too tight or small should probably consider an outfit that’s more flattering next time, but judging from the rest of her comments, Liz’s definition of overweight is entirely out of touch with reality. This woman had the audacity to say “I'd kill myself if I was as fat as Marilyn Monroe.” First of all Elizabeth, Marilyn is an endearing sex symbol ‘cause she was lucky enough to have ideal proportions. Also she is anything but fat. We know plenty of girls who would kill to have her body and plenty of guys who would do the same to be with somebody that has that kind of body. Elizabeth, we'd like to think you were smart enough to refrain from breastfeeding when you were on that post-natal six raisins a day diet, but after the Marilyn comment we aren’t quite sure. That being said if you did breastfeed on that diet we consider it to be akin to child abuse. Oh yeah, Elizabeth there’s just one more thing, we never liked any of your movies, we don’t think your hot and you we’d prefer if the next time you feel like sharing something you’d just button it.

    The Britpop bashing of Live 8 is nearly complete. This time
    Noel ripped into the event ‘cause the thinks there’s no bloody way the politicians are going to watch these concerts and as a result think that they have to drop the debt. The skeptics in us agree that the concept is a little ridiculous, but it doesn’t mean it ain’t worth a try. But seriously the only Britpop stars that haven’t ripped into this are Justine Frischmann and Jarvis Cocker, so who wants some free publicity?

    This Spice Girls at Live 8 thing is long past the point of redonkulous. Apparently
    Sir Bob wants them at Live 8 (again) but he wants all of them or the reunion’s a no go. None other than Mel B is holding it up the reunion ‘cause it’d be going back to something that’s in the past. Although we understand the need to grow as an artist, we have zero empathy for Mel ‘cause anything she’s done since leaving the Spice Girls has been neither a commercial or critical success. Come on Mel you, really really, really wanna do it. London’s Calling!

    It’s not all bad news for Live 8. It seems that
    Elton John is demanding our pal Pete Doherty be put on the roster ‘cause he’s looking for a little collaboration action. Horray for diva demands.

    The Guardian has an article on the commercialisation of Glasto. It seems big brands are setting up in the area adjacent to festival and trying to court rock stars. Although it defs goes against the damn-the-man spirit of rock and roll yore, we feel those days are long over. Besides haven't they heard sellouts are the new rebels.

    Speaking of Glasto, it begins in three days. It seems Miss Rock Snob herself is
    set to enjoy some nice sunshine.

    buy us one of these shirts. We’re also starting a campaign and asking all y’all to chip in a few ducats so we can buy a shirt for Lindsay and send it with one of those 6-foot long submarine sandwiches.

    Say what you will about Tom Cruise, but that man is damn swift and efficient. He only told us he was going to make Posh Spice a star last week and now
    she’s already got her first part. In light of this news we’re amending our offer to Tom, we’ll even try the Scientology thing if he can get us a movie role this fast. How bad could half a week of pretending to be interested in Scientology actually be?

    The gossip machine is trying to stir up some trouble in the union of two Parises. Apparently the Latsis don’t want Miss Hilton in the family and are getting the lawyers to draft up one of those pesky prenups. They’re also reporting that Mr. Latsis’ family fortune may not have come entirely from shipping, but rather from the ol’ big money business of guns and oil.

    Speaking of Miss Hilton,
    you can see what may or may not be the inside of her L.A. home.

    Finally, there’s a
    script for a biopic about Jeff and Tim Buckley floating ‘round Hollywood. All we're saying is it better be good.

    Friday, June 17, 2005

    I’m sorry was it me thinking out loud?

    In the world of ridiculous news apparently, Arnold Schwarzenegger hearts Kasabian’s debut. But then he got a look at the boys and in typical Arnold fashion he tells them to throw on Club Foot and work out 'cause “they have the combined bodyweight of one man only.”

    illusionist named Christopher Roller threw a $2 million lawsuit David Blane’s way for allegedly stealing his “godly powers.” Ah, Mr. Roller if your powers are “godly” how’d David Blaine manage to steal them from you? But what makes this story even better is that Mr. Roller is the same guy who sued David Copperfield for $50 million for using his supernatural powers without asking him first. Normally we’d make a snarktastic editorial comment here, but this one pretty much writes itself. Besides we’re pretty sure Mr. Roller would sue us if we shared our initial reaction.

    Pete Doherty's still haunted by memories of the time when drug dealers almost killed him—you mean that kind of thing didn’t use to happen on daily basis, Pete? The dealers did the whole stereotypical hold you by the feet and shake you over the edge of a tall building thing after Pete did the whole stereotypical junkie thing of stealing a drug dealer's car filled with $365,000 worth of smack. Pete then gets all sweet and talks about how Kate saved him from sure death. So kiddies, the moral of the story is don’t do drugs, unless you’re a rock star. If that’s the case it’s okay to develop a heroine addiction because everything will some how work out and you’ll be saved by your lovely supermodel girlfriend.

    Since we really don't condone drug use, here's a story that about a rock and roll star who doesn't do drugs. All y’all knew Chris Martin was a sensitive dude. So it should come as no surprise that he’s in touch with his feminine side to the point that
    chocolate is his drug of choice. That best be Valrhona you're talking about Chris.

    Those former Britpop stars really hate Live 8. After Damon criticized it for being too WASPy McWASP, former
    Suede frontman Brett Anderson is calling the performers opportunists who are more interested in using the venue to sell records than trying to make a difference in Africa.

    Never one to be left out, Noel Gallagher added his thoughts. Although Noel didn’t outright pan the event, he thinks
    its ludicrous there’s a general feeling in Britain that rock stars should be helping out at this event. We actually agree that nobody should be there simply because they feel compelled; they should want to be there. Oasis don’t want to be there ‘cause they were already booked to play Manchester on the day of Live 8.

    Peter Hook is a little jealous of Bono’s success ‘cause he’s convinced Joy Division would be in the same place as U2 is today if Ian cutis hadn’t committed suicide. Hooky, have you heard the latest U2 record? You’ve got nothing to be jealous of unless you want piles of cash and your own lame signature iPod. Oh wait…never mind.

    ‘Cause it’s Friday and we love you here’s what we recommend our local kids do with the weekend…

    Tonight all the cool kids will be at
    El Mo to see the fabulous Emiliana Torrini—say hi, if you see us. If you feel like nostalgic for the Britpop days of the mid ‘90s check out Oasis and openers Jet at the Molson Amphitheatre. Since no night is comeplete without post-show dancing you should head on over to Tawdry after either show.

    Saturday’s the much hyped
    Sleater-Kinney show at the venue we don’t care for that starts with a ‘p’ and ends with an ‘x’.

    You're on your own for Sunday ‘cause we’re heading off to
    this small town masquerading as a city for convocation and we’re too lazy to look up something for you to do. By the way Monday’s edition might be a little late ‘cause of the trip.

    Thursday, June 16, 2005

    She’s got savior faire

    Damon gets results. The organisers of Live 8 have decided to put on a concert only for African artists. Although we applaud the move, African artists have been relegated to Cornwall and are playing at the same time as the London show. We’d have much preferred an arrangement that had African artists playing along side artists from North America and Europe at the various shows, but nonetheless this is still a positive development. Kudos for having Peter Gabriel and Womad involved too.

    The Live 8 event in Canada is happening and we’ll hear about it today. Despite earlier reports it won’t happen in Ottawa. We can’t stop you from clicking the above link but, we will warn you that there’s nothing else worth reading in the article.
    the concert will be in Toronto. As if there was any other resonable choice. No word yet on the roster.

    What is it with Britsh rockers wanting to work with American rappers? First it was the Kanye and Franz love fest, and now Leeds' pride and joy,
    the Kaiser Cheifs, want 50 Cent to perform on stage with them. Luckily we don’t have to ponder that train wreak, 'cause 50 proceeded to crush their dreams by pulling out of the event; it conflicts with the filming of his autobiographical film.

    Our love for Pete knows no bounds. After Liam went on his tiraid about about Pete’s drug addiction and got the meaning of libertine wrong,
    Doherty took him aside, with dictionary in hand, to correct him.

    Since we missed we missed our daily recommended intake of Lindsay Lohan news yesterday, all y'all are getting bunches of it today.

    Lindsay claims she eats “a lot.” We have trouble believing that, although we do note that she neglects to mention exactly what it is that she eats a lot of.

    Our girl also has a major beef with
    the paparazzi not catching her when she’s wearing her killer ensembles. The example highlighted by the fashionista and her entourage was when paparazzi didn’t use pictures of her wearing a lowcut Anna Mollinari with pink hearts, black leggings and moccasin boots. Lindsay, Honey, we’d say you we lucky they didn’t use those pictures because nobody should ever wear leggings in public, especially not with moccasin boots.

    We’re skeptical about a
    movie titled Bad Girls, which pits Hilary Duff against real life rival Lindsay Lohan, but then again anything’s possible after hell froze over last week and if this is any indication it continues to stay frozen.

    Remember how we told all y'all that Lindsay Lohan and co. were teaming up with the LAPD in the fight against the epidemic of aggressive paparazzi? Well, our girl and her team of super-celebs have won their first battle.
    US Weekly announced it will no longer buy pictures when photographers get a little irresponsible taking them. We aren’t sure how they’ll define that broad statement, but we’re guessing it’ll be quite flexible and will change to accommodate just how exclusive and juicy the pics are.

    Lastly, even if Lindsay is toning down her partying, fighting the pappazzi and is looking quite gaunt
    there’s hope for the next generation.

    Wednesday, June 15, 2005

    The polka dots fill my eyes

    Nicole Richie stole the Simple Life 2: Interns from our dear Paris and that meant we couldn’t help but like her. But the word that she wants crazy extravagances, like elephant rides at her wedding makes us absolutely love her. As far as we’re concerned all weddings need elephant rides. Actually we’d prefer woolly mammoth rides, but alas until someone can pull some Jurassic-Park-style-magic that will remain a pipe dream.

    Is Tom Cruise running some sort of
    Make-A-Wish-Foundation-style-charity for B-list celebrities? The dude just fulfilled the dreams of small town Joey Potter of Capeside by helping her escape that two-bit town so she could become the A-list celeb she always wanted to be. But Tom isn't satisfied helping just one B-lister. Apparently, Tom the philanthropist is promising to make Posh Spice a movie star! If we can work something out to avoid that whole pesky converting to Scientology thing sign us Tom 'cause damn it, we wanna be stars too!

    Speaking of Spice Girls…if you look at the UK charts it’s
    pretty tough being one these days. Come on UK pop fans show our girls a little love!

    We’ve tried to shield you from MJ news as much as possible ‘cause it has taken over the media like a bad herpes outbreak, but this new development is too good not to pass along.
    MJ may possible make his comeback at Philly or London’s Live 8! We have no problem with the organisers helping with his comeback. But, if we were them we might wanna think real hard about this ‘cause there’s no doubt his performance and not Live 8's cause will become the media’s focus.

    Kayne West has good taste in music.
    He, like us, hearts the sound of the Archdukes from Glasgow. Our boys also like Kanye's sound. We may be reading too much into Alex's quote, but is he trying to tell us something about the sound of the new Franz album?

    Lastly, we’d say don’t expect too much gossip about
    Kate Moss and Pete Doherty to come from our boy Pete after Kate gave him a “proper bollocking” over his comments about thier relationship at the Ivor Novello awards. But knowing Pete, he'll forget and start gushing the next time reporters ask. So Petey, if Kate still gets mad at you when you’re being a sweetie like that, you are more than welcome to come over to Rock Snob’s for some consoling.

    Tuesday, June 14, 2005

    Gossip Folks

    Remember how we told you about how Lindsay Lohan didn’t let the sisters Simpson into her post MTV Movie Awards bash, but all was resolved when Lindsay apologised an hour later at another party? Well apparently that may not be the case. Papa Simpson allegedly called all the big celeb magazines and talked smack about Lindsay. But the kicker is Papa Simpson insisted on being quoted as either anonymous or one of Lohan’s lackeys. We’re loving this new celeb feud, but we too wish Papa Lohan was finished his sentence so he could respond. Can you imagine that fight? Although Papa Lohan may have experience from his assault conviction and jail time, Papa Simpson got's God on his side from his days as a Baptist minister.

    We love Megan Mullally because not only his her character character Karen a personal idol but she’s even willing to do crazy stuff in real life like
    groping Debra Messing’s boobies at an awards show.

    Paris Hilton’s planning on an early retirement by swapping Hollywood for motherhood in two years. The socialite, who only plays a “dumb blond” on TV ‘cause it's funny and good for her brand, doesn’t “enjoy going out anymore,” posing for pictures and schmoozing-it-up. Say it ain’t so Paris! Say it ain’t so! You’ve broken our little hearts:(

    Ananova’s given us hope though, by claiming that our own
    Lindsay Lohan is the new Paris. Still we’re a little skeptical after Disney was able to convince her to stop partying for Fully Loaded. But now that filming is long over we’re counting on our girl to make us proud and say “Paris, who?”

    We know it’s been mainly bad news on the celeb front today, but
    Kathy Hilton’s given us hope that our dream of a Paris Nicole reunion and a Simple Life 3. While we're dreaming we ask that Lindsay Lohan join the cast as well.

    Reader Rollo May corrected us with
    this, which seems to indicate Oasis, not Blur, won the Britpop war on the criteria of sales. We still stand by our statement because Blur would not pull this kind of amateur tantrum on their fans. Although Blur is on hiatus until Mr. Coxon comes to the realization that he should go back to where he’s loved best, Blur's public spat is still far cry from this kind of juvenile behaviour.

    oh mj

    MJ has been found not guilty!
    Oh and I'm leaving Italy tomorrow for the UK!
    That is all!

    Monday, June 13, 2005

    Mother One Track Mind

    Our friends at Chart posted their report card for the NxNE performances, so even if you didn’t go you can sound like you did.

    Chart also tells us
    the Futureheads are planning to record a new album in January after they finish touring. Apparently recording the last one was none to easy on the band, so here’s hoping Glasses and they rest of the boys get a break ‘cause they deserve it.

    File this one under unsurprising; a massive amount of people apparently bought this
    X & Y album by some band called Coldplay and get this, it debuts at number one. Snarkastic remarks aside, Chris Martin and co. still couldn’t knock that Crazy Frog off the top of the singles chart—proving once again that Clocks: the Sequel wasn’t the best single choice.

    Sir Bob rubbished Damon’s comments that the Live 8 line up was too WASP McWASP. He said that global popularity and sales were the only factors considered ‘cause the concerts are about getting people to pay attention. After reading that it confirmed to us that Sir Bob just doesn’t get it. Although we agree that a star-studded roster gets attention, surely it wouldn’t be a bad idea to invite some African artists to an event that aims to raise the profile of issues affecting African countries.

    Speaking of Live 8, our favourite boys from Leeds,
    the Kaiser Cheifs, are a skosh bit nervous about the size of the audience they’ll have in Philly. We heart that the boys are humbled to have been asked to participate, especially Ricky who would gladly have worked the coat check if asked.

    a fellow blogger is reporting that Lohan will poses for Playboy. No it’s not Lindsay, but rather her mom Dina. Although we’ve heard reports before, we think this defs settles where Lohan gets it from (provided this report is true, of course).

    Friday, June 10, 2005

    Music is My Radar

    As if Manchester wasn’t already the coolest place on earth. Those lucky buggers got one more reason to be smug ‘cause they’re getting Xfm on 97.7 later this year. Now if only they could get to work on a Toronto station.

    Apparently people are working on a
    Live 8 concert for Ottawa. We can’t decide whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. Although we can assure you that the capital of Canada really does know how to organise big events, we’re not sure we’d want to be associated with this event given all the recent criticism.

    There’s been a lot of criticism of the Live 8 roster for not being diverse enough. This time it’s
    Damon Albarn’s turn and when he talks we listen. Damon says he hasn’t been asked to participate and even if he is asked he won’t perform. Our boy thinks it’s embarrassing that such a diverse country has a concert roster that’s almost entirely WASPy McWASP. He also finds Live 8's approach demeaning to the people of Africa. But Damon wasn’t all criticism and no solutions, he implored participating artists to step-up and pressure their labels to donate money to the cause. Not only is he a musical genius, but he’s got a solid head on his soldiers—everything he said is bang-on and articulate. That's why he won the Britpop battle with Oasis.

    Speaking of Damon, he still wants
    Gorillaz to star in a major motion picture. He’s got high hopes for a film sometime in the future even after those pesky “creative differences” put an end to a movie with Dreamworks. Add that to the long list of reasons why we have no love for Dreamworks SKG and its animation division.

    Remember how we told you Lindsay Lohan was suing the paparazzo who allegedly ran into her on purpose. Well
    she’s taking her fight a step further and gathered superfriends Cameron, Reese, Halle and the LAPD in the battle against “aggressive” paparazzi. If we were representing the girls we’d be on the phone with Bruckheimer and Bay ‘cause this scenario has blockbuster film written all over it.

    Speaking of previously mentioned stories, (sorry, it really is a slow news day) the always funny and sometimes crass Perez Hilton’s got
    Holly Golightly is playing the Horseshoe Tavern on July 20. If you live in the G.T.A. be there ‘cause there really is no acceptable excuse for missing this show.

    If you need something to do this weekend you could do much worse than to check out
    the remaining NxNE events. There’s also the Four Tet/Junior Boys/ Caribou show at the Opera House on Sat.

    Enjoy the weekend kiddies!

    Thursday, June 09, 2005

    Raised on a diet of broken biscuits

    Wanna be like Kevin Federline and get yourself your own celebrity sugar mommy/daddy? E! tells you which upcoming Hottie McHotterson you should start stalking before she/he makes it big. We’re quite shocked that Kid Rock’s sister looks surprisingly good—do consider who your brother-in-law will be before you rush into anything. Since you can’t have Paris herself, E!'s implying that a $200,000-trust-fund-Paris-wannabe would be desirable. We recommend you ignore that horrid line of thought 'cause we know you're much better than that.

    Speaking of Paris, you can buy her some classier barware now that somebody
    registered the Parises at Tiffany & Co.

    We weren’t huge fans of Renee Zellweger’s husband Kenny Chesney when we first heard the news of their marriage. But now were loving him.
    He’s convinced her to throw a little weight on her frame ‘cause he, like us, likes his woman not to disappear when he tries to hold her. It’s a noble goal but Renee gonna need to throw on more than five lbs. for that to happen. Here’s hoping Lindsay Lohan finds her own Kenny Chesney and fast.

    this is cute and smart but they just don’t have the same appeal as the Free Winona tees.

    Geri, Hun, you really need some better representation—just fire us an email and we’ll be happy to help.
    Who the heck mistakes Geri for Kylie?

    Our buddy
    Pete Doherty told XFM the Babyshambles album tentatively titled Up The Morning is done. Fuck Forever will be the first single followed closely by Albion. We can’t wait to hear the new album as Pete’s calling it his best work “by a long shot.” Still it wasn’t all good news. Pete broke our hearts for the second time this week by calling the Libertines “the most manufactured band ever” and Strokes clones. Although we wish Pete all the best, we’re pulling for respectable but lower than anticipated sales. If it all works out as we envision Pete comes back to Carl with his tail between his legs and a Libertines reunion is inevitable. Just 'cause Rock Snob would disown me if it didn't mention it, much boy-touching will ensue.

    Although the link's headline promises much rock star drams between Pete and Liam, it turns out it's just Liam being Liam. Now we love Liam ‘cause his ego knows no bounds but we love Kate even more for
    putting his would-be-homewreaking-arse in its place. We knew there was a reason why we loved her and Pete together. Still is it just us or did anyone else just not get WTF Pete was thinking with his reaction.

    Lastly, fan site Franz has
    new material from our favourite boys from Glasgow. You can get a sneak peak at what they’ve been recording for the new album thanks to some sweet bootlegged tracks of the recent Moscow show; just click here and then point the cursor to the audio section. We really like You Can Have It So Much Better, with I’m Your Villain coming a close second. While you’re in the audio section we highly recommend you grab the amazing acoustic cover of Pulp’s Mis-Ships and some remixes of the Franz’s back catalogue of dance floor stormers.

    Wednesday, June 08, 2005

    Bringin' back good ol' fashion music for the intellectual groupies

    For my local kids, NXNE starts tomorrow. Here’s what the experts recommend. For Thursday we like the High Dials and Sleazy Cherub. On Friday we like the experts' pick of Novillero. On Saturday we suggest the Vespas or the Oufit . If you don’t care for any of the above, make your own picks.

    Rock and Roll feuds are so in right now.
    The Bravery v. the Killers feud continues with Mr. Brightside himself spouting off about how the Bravery are media whores and ungrateful that the Killers paved the way for them. But the kicker is when he say, “the Killers are here to bring back good, old-fashioned music.” Judging by the band's sound, which we like for dance floor antics, good old-fashioned music began in the 1980s. Who knew?

    Speaking of the Bravery, they’re happy to let you know that
    they prefer the groupies they’ve been attracting lately because they’ve got a bit of a brain and don’t just want the band for their bods. We’d love to believe them but when they use the word “booty” and the phrase “…and that kind of stuff…”, we’re thinking their definition of intellectual might not be all that discerning.

    Sir Bob’s officially in our bad books for saying he
    won't let the Spice Girls perform at Live 8 ‘cause they aren't popular enough . Umm…well… what was all this talk about then, Bob? The good news is the Girls still plan to reform for July of next year. Here’s hoping they pack ‘em in and stick it to Sir Bob.

    If you aren’t already sick of the Jack White publicity machine, here’s some news about a
    side project he’s pursuing that make “giant” songs, whatever that means.

    Oh Rachel, Honey, we love you so very much on the O.C. which is why it pains us to say, what were you thinking leaving the house like
    this? Please don’t let Mischa pick your outfit for you again.

    Laslty, we’ve been negelcting our Mp3 blog buddies who have put out some great stuff for all y'all. So here’s a round-up from the past few days.
    Mike at Take Your Medicine has got the Shatner and Ben Folds cover of Pulp’s Common People.

    Speaking of Britpop classics,
    Vicar’s got Blur’s Parklife.

    Chris at
    Gorilla vs. Bear has some Stripes' B-sides from the new album. If that wasn’t enough, he kindly provided some new Arcade Fire yesterday. Enjoy!

    Tuesday, June 07, 2005

    Take Me Out to Russia with Love

    Wanna get our girl Paris something for the wedding? Heres’ the Macy’s link to her bridal registry ‘cause the rich don’t stay rich by buying their own stuff. If you’d like to get Ms. Hilton something she might use, we suggest skipping over all that nonsense that could be used to cook and spending your dollars on either the barware or the bed linens. But still, if this news is correct you might wanna go with the linens ‘cause it may be some time till that barware gets some use.

    Speaking of baby news, it appears that
    foetus Spederline just might be a girl. That news isn’t stopping us in our campaign to pull for the name Cheeto.

    Although they may not be the relevant chart-topping hit makers that they were in the mid-‘90s, the brothers Gallagher sure know how to act like they're big time rock and roll stars. Apparently, the boys were up to
    their favourtie old past time of brawling over the weekend. Even so, it appears that the boys have mellowed out. Noel’s traded drugs for trainers and Liam’s actually publicly complementing Damon Albarn on the latest Gorillaz record. But, true to form that was short lived. Just because he was felling a little nostalgic for the old Britpop days, Liam had a battle of wits with Damon Albarn in Camden Town. Now that’s how you do it in the world of rock and roll kiddies.

    Well it appears the kiddies have been taking notes and have surpassed the old masters. Lindsay ‘I just don’t understand why the tabloids have a fascination with me’ Lohan nearly got into a
    good ol’ fashioned punch-up with the sisters Simpson. Allegedly, Lohan refused them access to her MTV Movie Awards after party. She then had the audacity to track them down to apologise at Jimmy Fallon’s party. Jessica was having none of it and started firing insults and trying to jump Lindsay. A few month’s a ago I would’ve put my money on Lohan beating the tar out Simpson, but her recent weight loss and all that time Simpson’s been spending with the Jackass boys makes me think Jessica’s got the edge.

    It appears that that when
    Liam Gallagher said “smackheads need slaps,” he was on to something. Despite his recent assertion that Kate and not crack was his rock it’s being reported that Pete Doherty’s back to his old ways. But what’s really surprising is that he’s saying Kate made him a splif out of a tampon tube. Tampon tube…Ew!

    As if one album wasn’t enough those generous and prolific boys at
    New Order wanna give us a disc of Best Remixes on June 21. Hit up the News section for the track list.

    It’s a big day for music releases.
    Coldplay’s X&Y hits stores and so does the White Stripe’s Get behind Me Satan. If this and this are any indication it appears Jack and Meg are winning the war for the critics' love, but Chris Martin and co. will dominate sales and radio play. We suggest you forgo both releases in favour of last week’s charmingly funny Art Brut release, Bang, Bang ,Rock and Roll or Montreal’s own ‘60s revivalists Anniemal by Annie. Even if you hate Euro dance pop grab the Annie disc anyway. It's just that damn good.

    Laslty, the Russians apparently detained Alex Kapranos ‘cause
    they thought he was a former MI6 spy that stole top secret intel on missiles. How cool is that? I herby nominate that Alex become the next James bond. With Kylie in talks to be the next Bond girl I say it’s time for that franchise to go rock and roll.

    Monday, June 06, 2005


    Hey, its me again. Were hanging on the Amalfi Coast in a crazy little town called Positano and even though it took nearly 10 hours to get here, it was definately worth it. Everything is just so incredibly beautiful. Watch "The Talanted Mr Ripley" to see the scenery youre missing!

    This little seaside town used to be the hotspot where all the cool writers, artists and bohemians (like Jack Kerouac and John Steinbeck) used to chill out. Were going to Pompei tomorow and then heading to Florence the day after. Anyway, I better get back to my siesta.


    See, it’s not that hard is it? Ah…it is.

    Hey kiddies thanks for all the comment love this weekend, it’s nice to know you’re digin’ what I’m dishin’. By the way if you’ve got a story that would fit wonderfully in Rock Snob I’d love for you to throw it my way—you’ll get some credit love as a reward. So don’t be shy ‘cause all the contact info’s hither. Now back to business…

    It’s official,
    Basement Jaxx are replacing Kylie at Glasto. We’re kind of indifferent about the announcement ‘cause no one can replace Kylie but, stylistically it’s sort of a fitting choice. Nonetheless we're happy the duo was able to show those execs at Astralwerks what brilliant move it was to drop them.

    We heart t.a.T.u. Where else in the pop world are you going to find a group whose entire marketing strategy is ‘Hey you! Watch us kiss; we’re pseudo-lesbian Russian schoolgirls. Oh and after you’re done staring don’t forget to buy our record, okay’? Besides ‘All the Things She Said’ is a pop gem. Well if you can sift through this poorly translated news bite it appears that
    the girls are back and up to the same old shenanigans. Apparently they have a new album coming out and criminally underrated producer Trevor Horn has got a hand it. Needless to say we can’t wait.

    You thought that
    Onion article on razors was purely humourous fiction. Well it appears Schick gave Gillette notice that ‘the razor war are on now, bitch!’

    We love
    M.I.A.’s m.o. of socially relevant lyrics over Diplo’s Congo to Colombo dance beats, which is why we think this lawsuit is bull jive. I’d love to believe him when he says it’s not about the money ‘cause I understand the need for an artist to protect him/herself from possible confusion. But I’m just not buying it in this case ‘cause dude’s band broke up long ago and if you're looking for music from one artist you ain’t gonna confuse one for the other. Pfft to that Google search argument ‘cause M.I.A. may be a lot of things musically, but punk really ain’t one of them.

    Our girl Lindsay’s fighting back the American way by takin’ the
    paparazzo to court after he allegedly ran his van into her Mercedes on purpose. If she wins, here’s hoping any damages she’s awarded aren’t in money, but rather in In and Out Double Doubles. We also love the irony that Lindsay’s off to court tomorrow to defend herself against claims that she caused two men injuries in a car accident last year. Just a bit of advice Linds, if it’s going poorly just claim you zoned back to the set of Fully Loaded. If that doesn’t work try flashin’ the judge the goods.

    Although we love Paris Hilton for her antics, ability to sell anything and her catch phrase, she needs some help in the 'who to befriend' department. Apparently, new best friend
    Kim Stewart let the secret out that the Paris squared union will happen this summer. She then did an atrocious job trying to cover it up by saying “I'm not saying anything. Mom's the word." “Mom’s the Word”, Kim? Who says that?

    Lastly, as if providing the slinky pop tune ‘Some Girls’ didn’t make us already love
    Rachel Stevens, now she’s gone and done this sexy advert [NSFW] for the very worthy Everyman Campaign. Enjoy ;)