MY LIPS HURT REAL BAD!

Dear God, I HOPE THIS KID IS REAL!

Thought of the day: Under what circumstance (if any) would you choose a sandwich over sex?

Morrissey has cancelled shows in Texas after recieving death threats. Apparently being anti-Bush in Texas is serious business. And fucking ridiculous.

The Libertines video for "What Became Of The Likely Lads" is so bittersweet... Just like everything else about the band...

Speaking of the devils, they have a DVD coming out which I must must must own.

If you're still looking for a Halloween costume...

Ed Harcourt: Something To Believe In!?!

Catherine's Pita declares "canada is so hot right now" and offers up The Hidden Camera's "Music Is My Boyfriend" for your pleasure!

10:51am Toronto features our favourite Kazakhstanian: Borat!

LiveJournal is serious business!

Happy Halloween you Halloweenies! Enjoy the Mozolantern!

Dwarf throwing has just been made illegal in Canada.

Goldie Lookin' Chain's Your-Mother-Got-A-Penis Pacman game! Chavs have neevr been so entertaining!

The White Stripes live video of "Jolene" (a.k.a. the best song they've never written).

Nicky Wire called The White Stripes "fucking crap" and says Jet's music "has the mental age of a foetus". I love that man.

Tbone teaches us about Marillion's brilliant music marketing and financing strategy!

Robert Harvey of The Music has a new voice message Diary entry!

Hear the new Wolfman single "Napolean". Another reason Pete should go back to Carl.

In honour of our fallen soldier in the ongoing battle of who can party the hardest I, *gasp*, stayed in last night. It sucked. We will never do that again. We think our fellow partiers would want us to be happy.

Blogging flight attendent gets grounded by her airline. Not cool.

Now's Best in Toronto Poll Results!

"I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it." - Audrey Hepburn

Franz Ferdinand payed tribute to John Peel last night by performing his favourite song, The Undertones "Teenage Kicks", at their show in Manchester.

Keith Richards will star as Johnny Depp's character's father in the two sequals to Pirates of the Carribbean!

iTunes is coming to Canada!

Paul Banks of Interpol talks to Nerve about groupies, good suits, and the appropriate length/girth of love.

And if you can't get enough...The Top Ten Worst Lines on Interpol’s First Album.

MORRISSEY WANTS AMERICANS TO VOTE FOR KERRY (although "Jon Stewart would be ideal")!

It might be worth the road trip to NYC this New Years Eve!

Toronto girls should hit up the DC sample sales this week!

The Ashlee Simpson iPod and the top ten submissions in Stereogum's photoshop Ashlee Simpson contest!

Asia Wong's 300 Love Letters project is best evs. Like it makes my heart happy. Check it here!

We never sleep... God knows we try...

Sad news... John Peel has died of a heart attack at the age of 65. He was awesome. Thanks to Bedders for breaking the news to me gently.

I finally had the pleasure of seeing BOY perform in St Catharines last night... I'm ashamed to admit it was my first time checkin them out live (I can't believe what I've been missing) and I was thoroughly impressed... Not only are they all ridiculously man-pretty and fun (I LOVE YOU TANK!) but their songs are really fucking awesome. Their new CD 'Every Page You Turn' it out today so I suggest you check it out!

Graham Coxon covering The Libertines "Time For Heroes" is so incredbly best!

Here comes trouble... Pete Doherty's been banned from the Groucho Club for destroying some very expensive artwork.

Goldie Lookin Chain pulled the best promotional stunt ever. Sadly, the band's Chavmobile was damaged.

The official Oasis site has been revamped!

Paris Hilton's new boyfriend is hot but, like, so unworthy of her greatness (unlike Duarte who sent me this link).

Seriously. Bush sucks. Check out this awesome NO BUSH IN '04 Movie Theatre!

A very very early morning entry because I have a very busy 36 hours ahead of me...

I hope everyone saw the AWESOME Ashlee Simpson fuck-up on SNL this weekend but if you missed it you can download it here!

Afropuff was right: "MY BAND PLAYED THE WRONG SONG" IS THE NEW "WARDROBE MALFUNCTION"!

I gotta give a shout to Erik for being very tempting jail-bait on Saturday night. If you were legal (and not our friend's little brother) we'd hit it.

Rilo Kiley: Adventures And Nudity In The Studio over at Chartattack.

Stereophonics new album be called LANGUAGE, SEX, VIOLENCE, OTHER.

The Music are the guests on Muchmusic's MuchOnDemand today at 5pm ET.

Bloc Party release their newest single "Helicopter" today!

"We're very pleased to finally announce the Canadian premiere of "Amazing Grace: Jeff Buckley!" Sony Music will be hosting a screening of the film in celebration of the release of the 10th Anniversary Legacy Edition of Grace... The screening will be held 9:30 PM at the Bloor Cinema on Nov. 17 (Jeff's birthday) in Toronto... A non-perishable food item for the Toronto Daily Bread Food Bank will act as admission. More information to follow."

I'm going to see Boy tonight at L3 in St. Catharines and you should too. They're so dreamy.

Commie hipsters united this morning in Television Studies. It was special.

I didn't realize that there is a new posthumous Matthew Jay album "... too soon" available until a friend told me last night. You can listen to it on his official site.

Pete Doherty talks politics! "...Bringing people together to fight capitalism — I’m into that."

Graham Coxon has denied rumours he’s returning to the band saying "It's not true at all".

Oasis and Blur unite for Band Air III!

If you need a welcome distraction I suggest you get lost in The Books of Albion.

Johnny Rotten scares off shark.

The new Vice is sooo bad it's good.

PLUS ONE tonight!

I love when my car breaks down!

Listen to The Music's Rob Harvey's voice message/diary entry from yesterday. I enjoyed his Velvet Revolver BUUUUURN.

The Killers meet fan Elton John. Just days after the band were congratulated by Bowie after a gig in New York. Sigh.

Matt also reminded me of how awesome Morrissey Tour.com (and their especially their merch) is!

Chart's review of The Libertines at The Opera House last Friday.

I heart Bobby Gillespie!

Missy rejects Madonna's Kabbalah cult. Respect.

I have such a girl-crush on Angelina Jolie. She's so best!

How worried was I about Fidel Castro's tumble. Poor old man!

Yay Red Sox!

I saw Team America last night and it was totally worth the price of admission for this song, "America, Fuck Yeah!"

I totally missed Brocktoberfest. :(

Brett Anderson and Bernard Butler’s new band is called The Tears. Dies.

OMG! Graham Coxon to re-join Blur!!!

The Music's new album Welcome To The North was released yesterday. It's fucking YAWESOME. I suggest you buy it or I wont be your friend anymore.

Garage Dream concludes Dizzee Rascal's new video "Dream" is THE BEST VIDEO EVER.

Kasabian love life. We think they might be the best new band we've heard all year.

Matt sent me a link about a new band from Manchester called Nine Black Alps. "Cosmopolitan" is their first single and it's avaliable for download on their site.

For those in need of hip Halloween plans...

Band Aid III has major potential.

Jarvis Cocker + Harry Potter = Hilarious use of Photoshop.

Fat is the new thin. (See Xtina and Lindsay Lohan.)

Born to be a rock star... Too lazy to get there...

Britpop is taking over television commercials... In a few hours of television I heard Franz Ferdinand's "Jacqueline" in a commercial for Saab, Dodgy's "Good Enough" for Carlsberg beer, Reef's "Place Your Hands" in a car commercial and Elastica's "Connection" selling hair dye. Television suddenly became awesome.

Noel Gallagher and Mani joined Ian Brown onstage in Manchester last night!

Listen to the new Kings of Leon album A-Ha Shake Heartbreak.

OH. MY. GOD. Those wacky British bastards!

SO. FUCKING. TIRED.

OK... Fresh start, new week, still exhausted from the last... The Libertines were brilliant on Friday (tho not nearly as fabulous as last time)... It's just not the same without our Pete... Carl lacks the passion he once had... Sigh... And, yes, it was I who bumrushed the stage during "I Get Along"... You love it.

Pete Doherty pulled another no show when he failed to turn up to speak at the European Social Forum on Saturday. Not cool.

My cousin said the Franz Ferdinand shows in Glasgow on Saturday were brilliant! She's black and blue and beaming.

Hot Hot Heat guitarist Dante has left the band.

Geri Halliwell's dropping her surname.

Wow Britney's "letter of truth" is so deep. I now understand why it took her a week to write it... fuckin idiot!

Oooh SCANDALOUS!

The Modern Age is back in business!

A Perfect Circle followed-up their last anti-Bush video with a cover of John Lennon's "Imagine" and a video that also serves as a political commentary. Check it out on Windows Media LOW/HIGH or RealPlayer LOW/HIGH.

"Underwear Goes Inside Your Pants" music video. From my Mariah on Fi'ah.

Jon Stewart for President!

Morrissey vs. Clay Aiken: Who’s Rock’s Greatest Celibate? I dont even know where to begin...
1) Morrissey (our personal lord and savior) should never be compared so someone as trivial as Clay Aiken.
2) Clay Aiken and "rock" should never be in the same sentence.
3) Everyone knows I am Rock's Greatest Celibate. Bitches.

Speaking of which, Anthony Bogaert, a psychologist and human sexuality expert at Brock University in St. Catherines, Ontario (the university I'm proud to attend) conducted a study that found that 1 in 100 adults are asexual. I kinda wanna be that one percent just so I can get the t-shirt: "Asexuality: it's not just for amoebas anymore."

I call this entry: "I can be a bitch too!"

THE LIBERTINES tonight!

Peter and Carl to reunite for Christmas? We can dream!

OMG! Kylie is playing her biggest world tour ever next year to celebrate the release of her greatest hits. You know I'm there.

The Ordinary Boys were joined by Terry Hall (The Specials) and comedien Phil Jupitus at their show in London last night.

Jude Law and Sienna Miller were too gorgeous for words at the Alfie premiere.

Break out the Kleenex indie girls... Brandon Flowers is engaged.

Morrissey + Nancy = Love

Paris Hilton's Friday mornin' wake'n'bake.

Sigh. Libertines. Sigh.

Go to Dynasty tonight at Volume Lounge (577 King St West). No cover. Hit it.

I just want to add something on a personal note... For someone who doesn't live in (or near) the city I spend quite a bit of my time there and there are some Toronto scenesters that are really starting to piss me off. Everyone knows who they are. Everyone hates them but pretends to like them. I think they are MEAN bitches and I'm sick of their scene-core monopoly. Why the fuck is everyone ass-kissing? It's fucking pathetic! The city is big enough for everyone so I suggest CERTAIN BITCHES drop the chip off their shoulder, play nice and STAY THE FUCK OUTTA MY PATH. Oh and another thing, if you fuck with my friends you fuck with me - and you really do NOT want to fuck with me. Kisses bitches.

"Taste my bitch, bitches!"

More glowing Morrissey reviews at Chart and The Star.

I think Travis might just be the most adorable band ever. We heart AND respect.

There's a new Manics video for "The Love of Richard Nixon"!

Jarvis Cocker will always be cooler than you and I.

Travis and Mishie have reviewed Interpol's Toronto show last night so I don't have to!

The Futureheads have lined up some Canadian/American tour dates. They play Lee's Palace in Toronto on November 1st.

Courtney Love has finally got something right!!!

A song inspired by the Libertines slash community and this particular icon... The Lollies sing "Peter Saw Another Man's Penis (And He Enjoyed It)"!

NOW my heart is full...
MORRISSEY WAS EVERYTHING I HOPED IT WOULD BE AND MORE. Words cannot describe...
Read one of the many glowing reviews from Canoe and Toronto Sun.
The setlist was as follows: Bigmouth Strikes Again, First Of The Gang To Die, November Spawned A Monster, I Like You, The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores, Such A Little Thing Makes Such A Big Difference, Shakespeare's Sister, Let Me Kiss You, I Have Forgiven Jesus, How Can Anybody Possibly Know How I Feel?, The More You Ignore Me The Closer I Get, How Soon Is Now?, Irish Blood English Heart, Rubber Ring, Now My Heart Is Full, Subway Train (into) Everyday Is Like Sunday, You Know I Couldn't Last... And for the encore: There Is A Light That Never Goes Out. Sigh.
I'm too happy to think or even try to articulate.

I've missed Pete Doherty... Babyshambles are the cover story on the NME this week. It sounds like a good issue cos there's lots of other goodies including pictures of Jack White smearing peanut butter on a naked man, a feature on the new breed of groupies, this Libertines poster, and my beloved Lauren Laverne talking “porn and health worries”. Sounds promising.

I didn't think it could get better than Ian Brown but Franz Ferdinand in Harry Potter as a band of ugly sisters sounds fucking awesome!

We saw our friend Laila (particularly her adorable blond mop of hair) featured prominently in Boy's fantastic new video for "Same Old Song" and it made us happy.

I don't like Gwen Stefani's new song very much but the video is fucking amazing!

I think I'm gonna be sick...

Kylie + Scissor Sisters = "I Believe In You".

Oh and Razorlight are hitting Lee's Palace on November 4th. You know my ass will be there.

Interpolski tonight. Say hello bitches.

Tell me what I should be for Halloween!!! Sadly, I'm too fat to go as Paris Hilton.

"21 years of living and nothing means anything to me..."

Much love to everyone who sent me birthday love these past few days. Especially Miss Laura (who I respect and adore more than she'll ever know) and my Chelsea Doll amoung others.

Red Square was taken over by hippies on Friday night.

SWANKERS on Saturday night was absolutely shambolic due to me + alcohol = evil. Oh and I didn't make out with anyone (but I'll let you tell people we did). So... Yeah... Let us never speak of that night again...

The Killers tonight kids! I don't think I'll be after-partying because...
I AM SEEING MORRISSEY TOMORROW!!!
I LOVE LIFE!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO MY FELLOW CANADIANS! (And good luck avoiding the "Turkey Dump"!)

Countdown to Morrisey: 3 days. The Dears frontman Murray Lightburn wept for two hours after getting the call infroming him would meet his idol when his band opens for Morrissey in Toronto this Tuesday. I almost wanna weep with joy for him.

Chloe Sevigny: Professional Morrissey Groupie. How sad.

Carl Barat says recording the Libertines' second album with co-frontman Pete Doherty was "nasty". Geez, you'd never know by listening to the album...

Toronto hearts Interpol. The band are featured on the cover of this week's Eye and Now.

Gwyneth Paltrow says doesn't wanna be a Yoko Ono. Who does Gwyneth? Really?

Oh God I hope this is a sick joke... Avril Lavigne wants to play Courtney Love in a film about Love's life. Courtney says, "Avril rocks and is pretty enough to play me!". No comment.

Sarah McLachlan actually does something really cool.

The Anatomy of the Away Message.

COME OUT TO SWANKERS TOMORROW NIGHT!

Hey did I mention the part about me hearing my roommate fuck her boyfriend the other night on this thing yet?

Countdown to Morrisey: 4 days. Things Wide Shut currently features an entertaining What Is Moz Doing Animated Thang o the Moment!

Blur's new DVD Starshaped is out today! It follows early Blur from 1991 to 1994 across Europe with lots of candid footage and live performances. Worth checkin out.

From today's Popbitch: "Steve Mason, the guitarist from 90s Indie-rockers Gene is now a male model, spotted recently auditioning for a bank advert wearing only Speedos."

I heart them more than anyone, but The Killers performance on Letterman last night was less-than-stellar :S

Pete Doherty was joined by new girlfriend, Death In Vegas' Dot Allison at a triumphant performance with his band Babyshambles last night.

The Sun reports that Babyshambles first single "Kilamangiro" will be released next month. The B-side, "Man Who Came To Stay", is allegedly about former partner Carl Barat: “He stole all my songs and my style.”

The Delays do some ghostbusting.

I think Victoria Beckham just enjoys pregnancy because it allows her to actually eat for a change. We like it when Skelator eats. We like our Skelators with boobs...

... On the other hand, Paris Hilton's extreme hottness inspired me to just eat raw baby carrots for lunch. (And yes all you Ana's and Mia's, I know baby carrots have more sugar=calories=fat then the big ones.)

I am not a fan of A Perfect Circle but I am a fan of anything anti-Bush... and their new video for "Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums" definately qualifies as Anti-Bush. You can check it out on Windows Media LOW/HIGH or RealPlayer LOW/HIGH.

Speaking of which, Democrats are pretty.

I need a The Internet Is For Lovers tee.

What Weight Watchers recipe card from 1974 are you? I am Fish 'Tacos.' "You might think you're exotic and worldly-wise, but in reality you're just a bunch of crap on toast. Repeat after me: 'just because you put something in quotation marks doesn't make it so.' And 'taco' isn't Spanish for 'toast.'"

I just had lunch with my Mom and Grandmother...
I commented that we were 3 generations of groupies and we all had a laugh and my Grandma gave me a high-five. A HIGH FIVE. No jokes. Best ever.
Grandma = Awesome. She expressed regret at not bringing her "Cripple Tag" when trying to find a parking space at the restaurant (keep in mind, she is in no way disabled). She discussed the cool Pirate patch she gets to wear after her eye surgury. She told me about her encounter with Sinatra and his "henchmen" again (cos I like that story). And of course she made tons of awesome politically-incorrect derogatory comments like, "Oh, you know so-and-so, he's one of those Europeans we don't like... (mimicks slitting neck)..." Oh man, my family rules so hard.

Countdown to Moz: 5 days. Morrissey is featured in this week's Entertainment Weekly.

Download The Music's "Freedom Fighters" and the Manic Street Preachers "For The Love of Richard Nixon" from Scenestars cos they're so awesome.

Fluxblog has Special Needs "Francesca" (which I heart) available for your listening pleasure.

I reread this old article about The Libertines last night... I love how it ends... Memo to Pete Doherty: a mind - not to mention a good band and a great friendship - is a terrible thing to waste.

For the records has the 411 on the future of Toronto's brilliant C'est What?

OK so that stupid book He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys is #1 on the Globe & Mail's bestseller list, #2 on Amazon.ca and #2 on NY Times... It's not all a loss because Jon stewart's America (The Book) is #1! (Stolen blantently from Duarte who we heart!)

I predict that Team America: World Police will be the greatest R-rated movie starring puppets ever made!

Who doesn't love a big British cock? (Safe for work!)

I'm kinda hating life right now...

Countdown to Morrisey: 6 days. Today's Toothpaste for Dinner features Moz!

Shocking! "Ms Dynamite" has been arrested over allegations of assault at a London restaurant."

Travis were out busking on Sauchihall Street in Glasgow yesterday. Sigh.

The Sun's got who won what at the Q Awards!

Razorlight on winning Best New Act: "We fuckin did it didn’t we?”

Ultragrrrl = the new Tony Wilson!?! But hotter obvs!

Everyone's buzzin about this new book He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys. OK, WHO THE FUCK needs a book for this? Listen ladies, save yourselves some cash and follow my free advice...

He's Just Not That Into You If...

1. You want to see more of him than he wants to see you.
   
2. You have to call him after a few days to see whats up and make plans.
   
3. He doesn't adjust his schedule to make time for you.
   
4. He's not constantly trying to get in your pants.
   
5. You're worried that he's into you so much that you have to go out and buy a book on the subject.

Fuck yeah! Massive make-out session happening at the Kissing Rock on October 22nd in nearby Thorold. I want in!

And in Paris Hilton news...

Paris don't ever change. We think you and your small tits are hott.

Paris was booed offstage by clubbers in Miami! Assholes!

Her publicist has also responded (poorly) to claims Paris drops the N-bomb in her new sex tape but didn't deny actually the allegations. Paris, honey, ditch that bitch and call me.

If Paris Hilton lived in Southern Ontario she'd be at SWANKERS on Saturday night, dancing on tables and making out with me. Seriously.

Oh and before I go... Robbie Williams sees dead people! Hahahaha!

I had a shit weekend. Except for the part where I got into a fight with some asshole at a party who called me "Jugs"... He's dead now.

Countdown to Morrissey: 7 days. Read about how everyone loves him.

Yusuf Islam (aka Cat Stevens) in The Guardian on his FBI interagation last month.

Peter Doherty will be getting political next weekend as a speaker at the European Social Forum in London when he should be performing with The Libertines and en route to makeout with me in Toronto... But he's forgiven... Fighting racism is a good excuse...

Not so Manic now... But did they have to go so far as admitting they like Dido?

John Lennon's killer is up for parole again this week.

Super Furry Animals + Yetis = Most awesome random commercial of the day.

Everyone hearts The Libertines in LA.

I'm lovin Kasabian and you should be too.

I missed Rilo Kiley at the Horseshoe last night. Apparently it was brilliant. Chromewaves has pictures.

My New Wave Mom (aka RockMom) send me this article... Because anything that has DANCING and Franz Ferdinand, The Killers and Interpol just screams my name. Loves it.

How did I not know that Renee Zellweger and Jack White broke up? How?

Because Keven Federline with a gun is a great idea...

Ambitious Outsiders has a Carlos D (Interpol) high school yearbook photo... Hahahahah...

I think I'm hosting Swankers again at Red Square this Saturday. Be there.

ROCKTOBER!!!